“There’s a crack in everything/ that’s how the light gets in.”
-- Leonard Cohen
Shortly after World War II, as the Japanese economy surged ahead, a survey set out to discover why the Japanese management style was so successful. One finding was surprising to those with a Western worldview: successful Japanese CEOs characteristically revealed their personal vulnerability to others, including their subordinates. Once such vulnerabilities were revealed, the organization could work as a team to address them.
In his little gem of a book, Leadership is an Art, Max DePree observes that managers that cannot weep are not intimate with their work: “these people must not be trying to live up to their potential. They must think they cannot fail.” DePree is not speaking of tears of “chagrin or frustration”, which he finds particularly useless. But tears resulting from care, from responsibility, from involvement—from understanding that the best “leaders don’t inflict pain, they bear pain”.
Indigenous peoples knew the value of such leadership as well. Among some Plains peoples, there are joking stories of how one could barely find anyone to be “chief”– since one who assumed that status also assumed such vulnerability. If there were hungry, they would find refuge in the leader’s tent, where the chief’s family went hungry until all others were fed. And if there were disagreements, those involved would find both refuge and arbiter in that same tent.
This ancient idea of leadership not as dominance but service is something we could use more of in today’s world. Under DePree’s leadership, Fortune 500 Company Herman Miller, a family business begun in 1923, excels in craftsmanship, personal care for its workers, creative physical design—and economic success. DePree knows what he is talking about when he describes successful management.
His approach, however, is different from most CEOs in the US. In the survey above, US CEOs felt that revealing their vulnerability would negate their power to lead. They worked to present themselves as strong – which they understood as invulnerable. The repercussions of this included the inability to learn from their mistakes, substantial energy siphoned off in hiding what was really happening in an organization, and undermining the ability of an organization to work as a team.
These corporate executives were enacting a key component of the Western worldview: the idea that vulnerability is dangerous and must be guarded against at all costs. This is what the athletic competitions that hold the attention of millions of us on television annually tell us: one should never expose a vulnerability. Instead, one should exploit the vulnerability of others.
One problem with this approach, as indicated in the recent prevalence of head injuries in professional football, is its lead up to violence. Another, as analyzed in Michael Messner’s, Power at Play, is that young men who often go into athletics to honor their bodies are tragically taught to dishonor them instead: to use their bodies as instruments as they learn to ignore their vulnerability– as they “play through the pain”.
It is not just athletics that teaches us this, but the mechanized environment of modern industry. As psychologist James Hillman puts it, an environment composed of “plastic, Styrofoam, cold metal” creates a “slow anesthetizing”, such that we “become brutal”. There is, after all, nothing vulnerable about plastic, Styrofoam or “cold metal”—no need to exercise our moral concern in such an arena.
The effects of our actions on others is ignored as their vulnerability becomes irrelevant, as in the case of the chemical company CEOs who viewed x-rays showing the bones of their workers dissolving from exposure to toxic chemicals– and saw this only as a problem to be hidden lest it detract from their bottom line.
This is the same kind of “psychic numbing” Robert Jay Lifton found in Nazi doctors who numbed their physical sensations lest they feel empathy for the pain they inflicted on others. Lifton gives examples in which professionals in the contemporary US today also exhibit “psychic numbing” as they carry out experiments on other lives. Lifton suggests two remedies for the moral danger involved here: that we become fully present in our bodies and that we focus our actions on empathy for other lives.
As eloquent Central American poet Daisy Zamora puts it, to be truly present in our bodies—to love our bodies for their uniqueness and their vulnerability– is to assume our place in the “unending chain of other bodies”. It is to experience empathy for all the lives that inhabit a body as do we ourselves.
Vulnerability itself shapes human culture. It is the reason why the developing brains of human children do not settle into their final physical configurations until a child reaches the age of ten or eleven. Up until that, the child is dependent on adults to care for him or her. And in those years of dependency the communication of culture takes place.
At the other end of life, the physical vulnerability of the elderly closes the circle of culture. As their community cares for the elderly who become physically dependent, elders give back the experience of their lifetimes, cached in stories, to their community. Vulnerability, at the beginning and end of life, creates the condition for the passing on of culture that makes humans unique among species.
Or at least it is that way in societies that keep their vital cultural heritage alive. If we see time as an arrow in which the past drops away from us—and the knowledge of our elders as useless, this link between physical vulnerability and intimacy is broken—and we come to the end of our lives as an abrupt wall, with no circle of legacy to re-enter. In this context, Madison Avenue has a heyday hawking youth culture.
But on a global scale, the youth culture is not always faring so well either. If we send children to work in factories at an early age–a capitalist tradition still followed in African chocolate plantations run by multi-nationals—or we allow them to go hungry (the greatest proportion of the hungry in the US today are children) — we also break the cycle that honors the children who depend on us as the carriers of our future.
I worry about a nation who can only see vulnerability (the hunger of children, the woundedness of returning soldiers) as a bit of red ink on a ledger somewhere. We have nothing to hold us together as a nation if our impulse to care for one another is labeled as “socialism” (as various FOX news pundits characteristically label it) and thereby dismissed. If we cannot design ways to listen to one another, to learn from one another, to meet one another’s needs together– by what right do we call ourselves a nation?
To an isolated individual, a disabled veteran or hungry child on the streets, vulnerability is no asset. In the context of “every man for himself”, one can understand why some might wish to dump the “useless eaters” from the rolls of community support. But I hope that their memory is not so short that they forget the origin of this term. “Useless eaters” was the phrase used by Hitler to decide whom to send to the gas chambers.
By contrast, the society that understands and cares for the needs of its most vulnerable is also resilient. When an individual fell ill, mentally or physically, among many long enduring societies, that illness was a barometer of the health of the tribe. Among many such societies, an individual illness signed a way in which a family or whole community needed to change its behavior.
Such a culture would not have to wait to hear that their pregnant women carried toxins in their umbilical cords to do something about the toxins that currently pervade our environment. One individual who came down with the cancer absent in ancient cultures would be enough for society to read oncoming disaster and change its ways.
We would need neither the demise of the renowned canary in a coal mine– or the pollinators of our crops– to expose the parallel vulnerability between humans and other natural lives. Just as the fabled canary was once used as a barometer of the health of mine air, colony collapse disorder among honeybees and other pollinators shows us what we are doing wrong–and what we need to change quickly.
The honeybee–and native pollinators like the bumblebee– illustrate stunningly the ways in which the lives of natural systems are interwoven as vulnerable to one another. These insects are covered with fine hairs that trap pollen as they visit the flowers from which they gather nectar as they fertilize them. However, those same hairs now trap chemical pollutants. Penn State researchers found that samples of bees from 23 states carried remnants of 98 different pesticides in their bodies.
The sticky hairs with which the bees clung to their diversity of pollen was such an asset in natural systems that the honeybees evidently did not have to worry much about toxins as they went. A recent analysis of their genes indicates they have very few enzymes allowing them to detoxify pesticides.
In this sense, the little creatures whose brains perform complex locational and social functions we cannot mimic on any computer as they pollinate billions of dollars worth of crops annually are our new canary in a coal mine.
The fate of such creatures shows us– as our vulnerability has always done– how we are all in this together. That is the thing about vulnerability: it does not privatize well—it alerts us instead to responsibility we share and must shoulder together.
The vulnerability we entrust to one another as we express our highest purposes: the vulnerability that arises from a vision yet to be made real, a mistake for which we take responsibility, a need to lean on another for a time, from being present to the wondrous gift of a body that also ages and gets ill—points the way to creating stronger community.
As Thomas Berry has observed, not a one of us nourishes ourselves. Just as we depend on other lives for our own survival, our vulnerability to one another teaches us to treat with tenderness the vulnerable natural systems that provide us with clean air, fertile growing land, drinkable water and climate control.
These are things we can only protect together. Just as we must protect together the social commons that provides us with learning from the past– with family, community and legacy—the commons that is as fragile as it is precious.
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Thanks to dear friend Leia Hart for reminding me of the great line by Leonard Cohen that begins this essay.
Filed under: Contrasting worldviews, Ecofeminism Tagged: | corporate ethics, effective leadersship, vulnerability, vulnerability and community


























Vulnerability is a built-in asset found all over in nature. In differing degrees, juvenile creatures are often vulnerable to their environment, to potential predators, even to their own kind. The last, to their own kind, seems to be where vulnerability is often considered a weakness in humankind. Even in humans, the vulnerability of a child brings forth the maternal instinct in some of the most hardened souls. Kidnappers will frequently release women and children before men, same for evacuation from a sinking ship. So, vulnerability is a useful tool in staying alive, if only to gain protection from someone stronger.
So how does this apply to a leader? A leader showing honest vulnerability may be more apt to receive aid from his/her subordinates who feel that instinct to protect. At the very least, subordinates will feel they are more on an equal plane to their senior, and more likely to support an equal. A leader who is able to acknowledge their own vulnerabilty is more able to empathize with their subordinates, able to understand how someone else may feel.
Overall, vulnerability is distinctly an asset to anyone who wishes to be able to connect with the rest of the world, to feel empathy.
Hello Rebecca, thanks for the very thoughtful reply. I appreciate the examples from the natural world and the perceptions on the way in which vulnerability helps create equality among a leader and others in a social group. It seems that you have done some serious thinking on this topic.
Such examples give us reason to contemplate how far off track the “dominator” approach to things is.
I have to agree with most of your posts. I do disagree with your feelings towards leadership. Like most social animals the subordinates will exploit the leader’s vulnerability to become the leader. If they do help the leader that vulnerability will be exploited at a later time. Not saying everyone is that way, but you would be surprised.
Can you see that the exploitation of vulnerability might be a cultural artifact of “dominating” societies–and not very useful in the long run? I don’t think you can argue with the success of the leadership expressed by the Japanese CEOs or Max DePree.
Not all scientists see social animals in this way: see “Misusing Darwin” here.
Thanks for your thoughtful response.
We need vulnerability for many things. As humans we need it for trust with friends and allies. We need it to try to improve one and other, work on your weakness. We are social beings and I feel that we need it for groups and communities to come together for support, a sense of security. As a leader for me to lead folks I kneed to know peoples strengths and weaknesses and work on their weaknesses and exploit their strengths to have an effective and efficent group.
Thoughtful comment– I answered in context of your next comment.
It also seems to me that real intimacy consists of trusting others enough to be vulnerable to them. Part of the issue I hope to raise in this essay is how we can construct a society in which that kind of trust prevails.
And is vulnerability quite the same as weakness?
I would say yes it is.
I think that some of these examples indicate it may be linked to strength–at least community strength instead. That is, physical weakness may have other trade-offs– like creating interdependency/bonding that are more important to survival of a species than pure physical strength. This is why numerous social species (e.g. lions and wolves) will sometimes follow and support an elderly leader who is not actually physically strongest. Species that throw away the knowledge of experience are not set up well for survival.
Robert, do you agree with Prof. Holden’s assessment of the social order of wolves and lions? I believe we can add bees to that list. The queen of a hive is extremely vulnerable, yet the drones protect her and meet her every need. Back to the Japanese model discussed in the original article, I do hope more CEOs can learn from this, as domination behavior harms more often than it helps.
Thanks for offering these points to consider, Reb. And just a small point about bees: it is worker bees (who are female) not the drones (who are males who mate and do no other job in the hive) that protect the queen. But the point here is well taken–as the queen’s physical vulnerability is compensated for her contribution to the hive as a whole- not only in mothering the colony but in releasing hormones that help bond the bees of a given hive to one another.
I related to this article for many reasons, but the comparison of sports teaching us and our children to exploit other people’s vulnerability really hit me while reading this article. I played 3 sports for about 13 years from a very young age, and I was taught this exact thing. I once was told by my high school football coach that I didn’t have the ‘killer instinct’ to play defense because I didn’t ‘attack’ the offensive players enough. I learned as a kid to exploit the other team’s weakest player and out perform my team’s weakest player to earn a starting spot, but I think that as this article points out, the exploitation becomes irrelevant to the person acting. I think the better way of looking at things would have been that the team is only as strong as the ‘weakest’ player and that it is all of our responsibility to help the weakest player to improve. This type of teamwork could be an example of how to deal with the environmental problems we face as a world everyday. In my opinion, it really doesn’t matter a whole lot if I drive a fuel efficient car if we continue to manufacture and sell gas guzzling SUV’s around the world, and ship our waste to other countries that need to deal with it. The world’s environment is only as strong as its weakest country, state, or even community.
Your comment adds important perspective to the “exploit the vulnerability ” of others approach and the alternative perspective you offer– that we are only as strong or sustainable as our weakest links, Brad. Messner’s book offers some tragic examples of young men who set out to honor their bodies by playing sports and learn the opposite lesson-not to listen to them. I have to think that if aren’t listening to our bodies, we aren’t paying much attention to the natural world either. Congratulations on not quite learning this lesson yourself!
Thanks for sharing your particular personal insight and experience. If we understood the perspective you offer here, perhaps we might even learn to work together on large issues like climate change for the sake of upcoming generations!
What struck me about this article is the general lack of empathy our species has as a whole. We see it in the example of the CEO’s trying to hide weakened bones of their employees. We see it in the way we treat other species. We see it in the way we treat ourselves.
Psychic numbing is a huge issue. We are bombarded with advertisements telling us to buy more and more, and so most of us live treading water. Between busy work schedules and the consumerism some of us only find the time to worry about themselves and their loved ones. When a story is told about another’s misfortune we may think; “well that sucks for them, but it couldn’t happen to me”. Altruism and empathy are much needed traits in our culture, and I’m afraid that the more our population grows, the less of that we will see.
Hi Tiffany, I think you have a good point about general lack of empathy, but I would attribute it to modern industrial culture that distances us from one another rather than a trait of our species in general. In fact, empathy seems to be a trait that allowed humans to survive as a species (in the face of our rather puny physical presence in the animal kingdom, we were able to work together in communities and pass on culture by linking bonding with vulnerability, as this essay notes).
The thing about the human species is that we are very adaptable–and we can adapt ourselves toward cooperation (and many cultures have) in the same way we can adapt ourselves to the opposite.
Having said that, I think you have some important observations about modern culture–and psychic numbing. If we truly understand that natural systems are interdependent (and we are part of natural systems) we may learn that being altruism is linked to our individual and community well being.
Thanks for your comment.
I liked how you pointed out in your comment that this issue of power, in our sense of the word meaning dominance, to be an issue that effects the employee, employer relationship, the relationship man has with nature and also the relationship man has with himself. I think that is an important aspect to take away from this essay. Knowing that the characteristic of vulnerability can be applied in many aspects of our lives and the lives of others can benefit us the most.
Thanks for your perspective reply to Tiffany’s insights!
Thanks for the Thomas Berry reference.
You are welcome.
This article gives me a lot to think about, but mainly I feel the pressure of the selfishness of current society. Money is power now and there is no place left for compassion or understanding. If there is a weak link in the chain (the elderly, sick, mentally challenged etc.) then they must be removed or in many cases ignored. Sickness, death and general bad things happening to people are so common that they are often brushes aside or made light. When there is a giant accident on the highway and a fatality occurs, many people may only think that it’s a bummer. It happens so frequently that unless we know the people or are connected, it’s not our issue. This is a big reminder of the NIMBY attitude. It seems that as long as we aren’t directly hurt by it, it doesn’t effect us. It is a sad way to think.
It is a sad way to think, Samantha-and also not a particularly effective one in terms of survival. The irony is that those who think they are doing well for themselves by thinking of themselves first and above others, may well be running an anti-evolutionary course to their own demise. Thanks for your comment.
Leadership has always meant to me that the person that is willing to stand up for the community, or his friends should be the one they go to when they are in trouble or need advice. not that the person who is most willing to exploit the other workers and destroy the competitors should be the person in charge. its interesting to think about how other parts of the world work hard to save our world. And chose who should watch over others.
I very much like your idea of what leadership should be, Arnulfo. We certainly need this type of leader–who is willing to watch over and care for others. Thanks for the thoughtful response.
This essay really challenged me to define what I thought the term power to really mean. As I thought about this, I realized that I too had been taught that vulnerability meant weakness which is the opposite of power. This is one of the first essays I have read that actually has had a direct impact on my life and how I view the world. The points in this essay that vulnerability can lead to more successful ventures through allowing teamwork really make sense and should be taught instead of the current egotistical view of power that is of dominance. Vulnerability in the for of leadership does not mean weakness but it is service for those that you lead for. This is a topic that can benefit individuals as well as communities as a whole when working together.
Thanks for bringing yourself to this topic with some deep thinking, Emily-and for sharing that process with us. I also think that we cannot be truly intimate with others unless we realize that we are vulnerable to them.
As you indicate, we need another definition of power– power that would enable rather than conquer.
Recently I wrote a blog entry offering a leftist critique of the ideology of “Green” environmentalism, deep ecology, eco-feminism, and lifestyle politics in general (veganism, “dumpster diving,” “buying organic,” “locavorism,” etc.). I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the matter and any responses you might have to its criticisms.
Dialogue is always good. I appreciate your comment. That said, I think you may have painted all the movements you critique with a bit too generalized a brush. You might want to take a look at the issue on Ecofeminism edited by Ariel Salleh in Capitalism Nature Socialism. You might also like to look into Eleanor Leacock’s historical work on the Montagnais. .
Ecofeminism is more complex than a simple form of “lifestyle politics”: though I might note quality of life is a central concern of Marx’ thought as well. I do understand problems with an extreme individualism that withdraws into its own self-satisfied world. But working for indigenous rights and honoring values that created sustainable and egalitarian communities for thousands of years (Engels based his work on the analysis of native communities in Northeastern North America) cannot be dismissed as “romantic”. Particular values are interwoven with particular action and social forms, as they have been throughout history. I see hierarchy as a central value in the creation of oppression everywhere: and I have not seen any society which treats the natural world as an occasion for domination and oppression that does not treat other humans in parallel ways.
My own problem with Marxism (and Murray Bookchin’s revision of it in his social ecology) has to do with assumptions about “progress” and evolution, which seem to me to need much more definition.
Those things I think we do agree on include the importance of social justice, the need for a clear-eyed assessment of the harms of our economic system, and the necessity to assume responsibility for the results of our actions on the international as well as the local level.
This is interesting to me. I never considered vulnerability as a positive quality. All of these example of when it could be helpful to utilize vulnerability, such as the business managers, I thought was a very different view of thinking. What I thought was the most interesting, was the example about the athletes and how they “play through the pain”, and how they are actually dishonoring their bodies by ignoring the vulnerability. Its interesting to consider why does our culture view vulnerability as a negative quality? Shouldn’t wanting to help others be a good thing? Just as you mentioned, when our society wants to help others, its termed negative as “socialism”. This gave me a lot to think about.
Thanks for indicating things we might think about as we step back from our society and develop a bit more perspective. Some very thoughtful responses here, Michelle.
It is interesting to think that people are often not “intimite” with their work, that they are at an emotional disconnect even with something they deal with on a daily basis. It is a strange thought that people continuously do things that they don’t like or care about, and even sometimes do things that they don’t approve of for more money. With the caring for the job and striving to be better at what they do, there is in turn, that showing of emotion and even vulnerability. Without being open to the fear of failing and doing wrong, we cannot be happy with what we have accomplished. It’s interesting to consider.
Thoughtful point that we cannot be happy with what we’ve accomplished if we are not open to making mistakes–and certainly, if we are not emotionally attached to what we do. It is a sad situation (and a dangerous one for society) when what we do for money contradicts our personal values and ethics. Thanks for your comment, Sami.
We are participants in a dumbing down. By allowing ourselves to ignore small breaks in the link of the chain we are participating in it’s snap, and cannot say that we were unaware of the problem. We as a culture are addicted to convenience and will trade our health and sanity for a quick bite. If time does not exist, as Einstein discovered, then only our actions matter. If our every breath is concerned with quality, quantity will soon follow.
You have some thoughtful general points to share here, Michelle: I am not sure how you want to link them to the specific points in this essay.
I agree that leaders should reveal their vulnerability to their followers and act more as servants rather then top dogs. This way the people that look up to the leader can show some empathy and work more as a team. This issue is that our society looks at power as not having many flaws when everyone has flaws.
Very nice idea about teamwork, Jake. And indeed, we do all have flaws- one of which may be trying to cover them up?
I really like how this essay relates leadership with vulnerability. One thing In the beginning that stood out in my mind is how he talks about how leadership is service and how those who cannot weep tears resulting from care, responsibility, and involvement are not in fact good leaders, coming from understanding that the best “leaders don’t inflict pain, they bear pain”. Then as I read on, another thing that I really liked was his discussion of the honeybee and how “we are all in this together” including the non-human amimals that live among us. He goes on to say “that is the thing about vulnerability: it does not privatize well” (just like in the beginning of the essay when he talks about the Japaneese and their vulnerability to others) — “it alerts us instead to responsibility we share and must shoulder together.” That last quote is the most important (to me) because I agree that we must all take responsibility, including the animals that live here on earth with us!
Thoughtful summary response to this essay, Courtney! You have done a good job of hitting the highlights– and coming to an insightful conclusion about the responsibility that flows from our interdependence.
I found this article very interesting – the way in which it integrated vulnerability into society and how it can affect it. We, as human beings, are particularly vulnerable. One of the most beautiful things about life is that we are, in fact, in this together. We rely on plants for oxygen, plants rely on rain for watering, rainfall relies on condensation, and so on and so forth. So many things on our Earth depend on each other, that it makes sense to “Partner with the Natural World” (to quote another article) – because we living things ARE so vulnerable that we depend on one another.
To be vulnerable is a scary thing – it is something that requires trust and an ability to “let go.” This could apply to another person in that being vulnerable to another person means that you trust them not to hurt you. Being vulnerable to the natural world could mean trusting in your fate and not having to control every aspect of your life and surroundings. I think that it is particularly important for a person in a leadership role to display a level of vulnerability. People like to work for and follow someone human – someone who can they can identify with on a personal level, not a superhero. I know that I have appreciated and respected bosses more when they were able to admit their mistakes and displayed a willingness to improve their own work. It makes them more approachable and communicable. Vulnerability in this setting allows for more communication, which, in a work place, often means success.
Nice point connecting our vulnerability with our humanity and our wanting to follow leaders who express their humanity to us, Amanda. I like your connection between vulnerability and communication– as well as the our vulnerability reminds us that we live in an interdependent world.
This article was a wonderful read. I’d never thought of vulnerability as a positive trait that should be embraced or that it had the potential to be beneficial. I never considered the pros: the service it does for others and how they can relate, its ability to make one intimate, how it can actually help instead of hinder, the way you can see something in a new light if you are open about your flaws. People generally don’t like to feel vulnerable.
I was always told being vulnerable meant you were weak just as I was always told showing your emotions meant you were portrayed as fragile and unreliable. If you were so susceptible to attack, you clearly weren’t stable and therefore it was unlikely you could be trusted to endure the burden of leadership.. supposedly. Besides, bullies thrive on vulnerability, right?
Then there are so many people swayed by feeling — these people are an easy target for manipulation, so how would it be possible for them to properly maintain in a group? Teamwork or not, could they manage? Could they accurately see through deceivers?
Either way, you need a lot of trust in people as a whole to lay out what makes you vulnerable, be proud of it and recognize it is not necessarily your Achilles’ heel. While I still do not believe it is wise to share everything, this article has proved being vulnerable can also be worthwhile.
Also: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o this may interest you.
Thanks for this link, Jessica– I had not known there was a TED talk on the power of vulnerability! All in all, perhaps we need to change the idea that “people” in general don’t like to feel vulnerable to the idea that many people in our society are taught that vulnerability is dangerous– when in fact, it is an essential mechanism for connection and creation of community, as the talk you give the link to indicates. Thanks for sharing this!
In Western cultures leadership is something sought as a status symbol, campaigned and worked for. I often wonder how different our society would be if our understanding of leadership was more Native, where the leaders are chosen because their path looks like one that would lead to success for their people. Can you imagine an election in the US if the President was chosen by nomination? Campaign videos, made by volunteers, would highlight their candidate’s responsibility for their own actions, and the awareness paid to how that would impact the most marginalized (or vulnerable) populations of people or the environment. It is certainly interesting to think about!
Something that struck me as especially noteworthy about this article stemmed from this quote “the fate of such creatures shows us– as our vulnerability has always done– how we are all in this together…that is the thing about vulnerability: it does not privatize well—it alerts us instead to responsibility we share and must shoulder together.” Unfortunately, contrary to Faux News commentators (I am afraid even in academia I cannot bring myself to call them Fox “News”), we do not live in a society that equally shares responsibility for our actions. I believe that the most marginalized people are impacted more broadly and more often by the actions of our society’s elite. In today’s capitalist society, in the “every person for themself” mind-frame, truly leaves the most marginalized disempowered, least able to create change and “help themselves” (as many suggest that they do). Their agency is removed, leaving vulnerability as their only option. It is interesting that we value vulnerability of those at the top of the hierarchy, but not those at the bottom. It might serve our society well to allow those vulnerable populations to choose our leaders, like many indigenous peoples (including your story of the Plains’ peoples) do.
I think your reference to Fox News is pretty close to home, Anna. There is so much corporate control–and outright manipulation of the truth on that channel.
You bring up an important point about the relative vulnerability of those at the top and bottom of the hierarchy in a hierarchical society. In such a competitive context we are taught that we must not express vulnerability (or even accept our own) since it is liable to set us up for attack– or make us lose our social positions. A sad state of affairs indeed.
I see way too many politicians tearing up and crying as a way to manipulate the public. The obvious insincerity of their actions is so disgusting that it makes me physically ill; how can anyone believe that those tears are real? With that said, I agree that showing weakness can be a strength, particularly when the person in question is sincerely looking for help and support.
As far as the interconnectedness of everyone and everything on our planet is concerned, it saddens me that so many people ignore the obvious dangers in our current environment. Pollutants are everywhere, and they are causing damage in so many ways. Unfortunately, our country and culture seems to award people who preserve the bottom line over the health and safety of the beings who are being poisoned by those pollutants.
In a society fraught with hierarchy as ours is, we are often looking for people to reveal themselves with their authentic feelings– not the politician image. In such hierarchies, it is often the case that those in truly vulnerable positions with no other compensation try to gain what power they can through manipulation. A sad circumstance. I think each of us can tell what is authentic and what not…and you have a good point about pollutants and the idea that we are in denial about their harm (if we saw our tender and vulnerable bodies as they are perhaps we would respond more quickly to this?)
It is interesting to hear about Max DePree’s Leadership is an Art book. I always thought I was a ball bag (cry baby) for getting emotional at work when a client is going through trauma. It’s true though when you think about it, the clients who see you cry and care about their life confide in you and trust you with their needs. You would think that agencies would not frown on this kind of emotion, simple tears of concern or empathy. But they do. “You can’t be that involved…it’s a boundary issue”.
So it’s good to be vulnerable!? I bring a list of my caseload home with me and post in on my wall in the bedroom where I pray. I believe that my prayers help them. I can’t share my faith with them, but I can pray for them on my own time.
I love this article. I always felt like a door mat because being the second oldest in my family of 8, my home is always an open door policy. I often have my struggling brother and his kids staying the weekend when they don’t have food, or my husband’s brother in the guest room when he’s evicted. Certain persons have labeled me the door mat of the family. But now I feel like a leader.
The bible calls us to take care of our elderly and our widows. So it makes sense that it keeps our vital heritage alive. Our nation would be so strong if united we cared for and listened to the needs of others more so than our own.
And at the very least, your prayers may release creative and empathetic sources within yourself in dealing with those you bring home in this way. Thanks for the empathy you express in this essay– and obviously in your work. One thing acceptance of our vulnerability might show us is that we all share the same life-community– so working for others is working for all of us.
In a society that is competitive, where people are fighting for their share of the pie, the vulnerable are likely to be taken advantage of. But in societies that value cooperation, the vulnerable are more likely to be protected because the members recognize that what happens to one or some happens to them all. Unlike weakness, which I view as more of an inherent quality, I think vulnerability is a choice. It is a choice that a person makes to be human, to connect, to say, ‘Hey, I’m just like you. I have fears and insecurities. But I also have wisdom and fortitude and am willing to stick this out and take responsibility.’ I think there are many leaders who appear to be strong but are weak at their core. And I think there are those who might be called vulnerable or weak but can lead more effectively because of the intimacy they create in their relationships.
Great perspective here, Staci. I like your description of accepting our vulnerability as a way to show that we are all human-and isn’t that not only a part of our authentic presence but the way we might learn from one another?
I like your distinction between vulnerability and weakness. Of course, children and the elderly do not choose their vulnerability and need to be cared for– though they the elderly do choose what they can pass on to the next generation if we are ready to receive it.